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We’ve built the matchmaking
Buyer
Set expectations early
- 01 State your criteria and readiness
- 02 See suitable properties
Seller
Put property in context
- 01 Signal your position and timing
- 02 Reach suitable buyers
Meet the Proppies
Buyers

Nigel
is looking for
Up to £500,000
Semi-detached, Terraced, Flat
Westminster, SW1
Chain-free, MIP-AIP in place
About the search
The house need not be white. But it has to be number 10. With room for a flagpole, a wine cellar (ideally already stocked), and thick enough walls to keep out both draughts and Eurocrats. I am in a strong proceedable position: chain-free and all cash. And I am willing to proceed without survey, assuming the current tenant is ready to vacate.
Sellers

Keira
is offering
Open to agent guidance on pricing
Terraced
Croydon, CR0
About the offer
A well-loved home to my great-aunt for over 50 years. A bit dated but everything functional. It comes with three bedrooms, a generous rear garden and off-street parking. It is in catchment area of outstanding primary and secondary schools – a huge bonus to any families screwed by Labour’s VAT raid. Probate has been granted and I am the sole heir and executor.
Agents

Boris
Sovereign Homes & Country Estates
Walthamstow E17
About the agent
Charming, chaotic, and occasionally seen stuck in a wardrobe while conducting a virtual viewing, Boris is the agent you didn’t know you needed – but won’t forget. With a background in column writing, city hall diplomacy, and light-touch landscaping at Chequers, Boris brings a boisterous enthusiasm to the housing market, often describing properties as “simply splendid!” or “a veritable Roman villa in Croydon.”
He specialises in big ideas, bigger promises, and homes with “potential” (read: needs a new roof). While the paperwork may occasionally be mislaid, Boris more than makes up for it with flowery language, impromptu Latin, and a willingness to ride a bike to your viewing.