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Buyer
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- 01 State your criteria and readiness
- 02 See suitable properties
Tenant
Stand out from the crowd
- 01 Share your background
- 02 Build trust before your apply
Agent
Grow your franchise
- 01 Share your experience
- 02 Connect with motivated movers
Meet the Proppies
Buyers
Nigel
is looking for
Up to £500,000
Semi-detached, Terraced, Flat
Westminster, SW1
2 to 3
1 to 2
800 to 1200 sqftChain-free, MIP-AIP in place
About the search
The house need not be white. But it has to be number 10. With room for a flagpole, a wine cellar (ideally already stocked), and thick enough walls to keep out both draughts and Eurocrats. I am in a strong proceedable position: chain-free and all cash. And I am willing to proceed without survey, assuming the current tenant is ready to vacate.
Tenants
Liz
is looking for
Up to £3,500pcm
Semi-detached, Terraced, Flat
London
3 to 421600 to 2000 sqftFinancial reference ready
About the search
We are your perfect tenant. Never overstay. Property guaranteed to be returned in pristine condition within months (possibly weeks). Landlord reference available. Family of four with two kids. Only requirements: within 30 minutes to London Bridge and outstanding state school catchment as private is no longer an option after Labour’s VAT raid.
Agents
Boris
Sovereign Homes & Country Estates
Walthamstow E17
About the agent
Charming, chaotic, and occasionally seen stuck in a wardrobe while conducting a virtual viewing, Boris is the agent you didn’t know you needed – but won’t forget. With a background in column writing, city hall diplomacy, and light-touch landscaping at Chequers, Boris brings a boisterous enthusiasm to the housing market, often describing properties as “simply splendid!” or “a veritable Roman villa in Croydon.”
He specialises in big ideas, bigger promises, and homes with “potential” (read: needs a new roof). While the paperwork may occasionally be mislaid, Boris more than makes up for it with flowery language, impromptu Latin, and a willingness to ride a bike to your viewing.